Years ago when we were taking both Cheyenne and Jetson to Sit Means Sit here in Austin, we were told by one of the instructors that dogs have two ways to sit. One is the straight-forward one leg on either side position that most dogs do, while the other is more relaxed, where the dog has both hind legs to one side and is leaning essentially on their hip. The relaxation distinction was important...
Alright, Verastiqui. This is your reminder about the time your sister-in-law gave you a Hue motion sensor and said if you can fix it, you can have it. Since your entire house is rigged with Hue smart lights, you jumped at the opportunity, only to find the sensor needed batteries and the small screw that lets you access the batteries was incredibly stripped. You tried your special tiny screwdriver...
As a carbon-based lifeform irrevocably trapped into the unidirectional flow of time, I'm almost always thinking about what life would be like with foreknowledge of the future. Since I can't see into the future from here, I often imagine myself going back and trying again. Sometimes I think about what I could do differently, and sometimes I imagine what it would be like to try to do it all the...
Have you ever wondered how they change lightbulbs at the Barnes & Noble? You think some guy is just walking around with a 20 foot ladder and a bag of bulbs? No--that would be too non-invasive. Instead, they drive a cherry picker into the store and let its constant beep-beep-beep echo throughout the store for what was probably the entire morning.
Central Texas has been under an Excessive Heat Warning for what feels like months now, and I can't remember a time in my 42 years when I've seen a more pointless advisory from the National Weather Service. What exactly are you expecting us to do, NWS? Get under our desks? Put wet paper bags over our heads? We know it's hot; we've been outside, trying to live our lives. Oh no but it's like, really...
The Adventures of Floop and his trusty sidekick Agent Speckle continued tonight, though not without constant interruption from Matador. Oh, it can't be that bad, Daniel, you say, as if you were somehow watching us through a camera hidden in the air conditioning vent, but it was. Here's a little example of how the interruptions went, and I swear on the unparalleled beauty of Natalie Portman that...
I wrote a poem in my closet this morning. Thinking of entering it in a few festivals, maybe Cannes, I don't know. I'm not really ready for all that fame and success. In the meantime… life goes on.
"Charlotte went up to a little table of imitation mahogany with a drawer. She put her hand upon it. The little table was ugly, no doubt, but it had done nothing to her." - Lolita, Chapter 21
It’s too hot to be outside for any reason.
It will be years yet before El Matador experiences the horror of The Last of Us and the utterly soul-crushing death march of its sequel, and I can't help but envy that kind of ignorance. For him, the world is still a wonderful, friendly, and inviting place.