Central Texas has been under an Excessive Heat Warning for what feels like months now, and I can't remember a time in my 42 years when I've seen a more pointless advisory from the National Weather Service. What exactly are you expecting us to do, NWS? Get under our desks? Put wet paper bags over our heads? We know it's hot; we've been outside, trying to live our lives. Oh no but it's like, really...
The Adventures of Floop and his trusty sidekick Agent Speckle continued tonight, though not without constant interruption from Matador. Oh, it can't be that bad, Daniel, you say, as if you were somehow watching us through a camera hidden in the air conditioning vent, but it was. Here's a little example of how the interruptions went, and I swear on the unparalleled beauty of Natalie Portman that...
I wrote a poem in my closet this morning. Thinking of entering it in a few festivals, maybe Cannes, I don't know. I'm not really ready for all that fame and success. In the meantime… life goes on.
It will be years yet before El Matador experiences the horror of The Last of Us and the utterly soul-crushing death march of its sequel, and I can't help but envy that kind of ignorance. For him, the world is still a wonderful, friendly, and inviting place.
Once upon a time, there was a dragon. In this dragon's ear was the biggest strawberry farm you've ever seen. Everybody loved the dragon's strawberries, but the only person the dragon allowed to pick them was Little Matador. And the only reason he...